SHERMAN’S PASSION: It was 1983 when a sociology professor from a local university and I tried to find out if contemporary males were ready to break out of traditional molds, just like women had been exploring their own roles for ten years of early Feminism. We kept putting out ideas trying to round up a group, but we couldn’t get any traction until we put out notices we were creating a separation and divorce group for men. That was the door opener, since plenty of guys, including me, were in too much pain to deny we needed to explore that topic. We all gathered to figure out how best to rebuild our broken dreams and shattered lives
Very little had been written on the topic in those days, so we made it up as we went along. That first group lasted about a year before we realized main stream churches weren’t going to give us a home. When I would bring up men’s pain to deacons and elders, they assured me that men didn’t have pain, women did. I would quote statistics about how much longer women lived than we do, how many more stress related diseases we have, even (tragically) how much more successful we were at suicide. Over the next several decades, many men died because of those dangerously outdated attitudes. Ironically many of them were deacons and elders.
I became a management consultant in the mid 1980s. Of the many real world issues interfering with productivity, separation and divorce was usually at the top. Over the years I never lost my passion for helping guys find ways to reduce their pain and to continue building strong relationships with their kids. I’ve managed to hold onto my passion through two divorces, refined it in therapy, and interviewed and developed effective coaching techniques with hundreds of guys, so after a number of clients kept bugging me to boil down the essence of my sessions with them, I finally relented and created the short workbook: Duct Taped Heart: A Man’s Guide to Separation and Divorce, available on Amazon.com. I wanted to make it very affordable, so I put out the galley proof for $5. It is also available on Kindle, but several guys have told me they prefer the hardback to fill out the workbook sections, then review or add to them.
I’m quite pleased with the response I am getting to that book, not only in the Charlotte, NC region, my home, where I can do live sessions with individuals and groups, but also in other parts of the country where I am doing phone coaching.
I find that I am pretty busy as a Separation/Divorce Coach for Men, working on another book and with current clients, but should you want to discuss my taking you on as a client, that process would start with an email to Sherman@forthegoodguys.org telling me about your situation. I would respond with whether or not I think I would be a good fit for you, or perhaps with a few questions. If we proceeded to the next step, we’d set up a complimentary 30 minute phone call to explore further steps in the process.