I have mentored many men through this process. I love my work as a separation/divorce consultant/coach for men. I enjoy watching guys get their mojo back. I like how with every guy I find some more hope for my own story. Honestly, I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to write this book earlier, but now I have been encouraged by enough of my clients that I have finally gotten it and been inspired to sit down at the computer.
I wrote newspaper columns for men in the 1980s. I was told they were ahead of their times. When I tried to take our work into mainstream churches, I was told men didn’t have problems or pain, only women did. That generation of men, and women, just couldn’t, or didn’t want, to hear that men were much more successful than women at suicide, and that they had the majority of stress related diseases like heart attacks. Women still outlive us although we’re closing the gap, unfortunately in large part because they are acquiring male stress levels.
Frankly that was a more ignorant and less kind generation, but our culture has made progress, so now, many years later I have been convinced by friends it is time to bring everything I knew then, plus a lot I’ve learn, back center stage to add this nuts and bolts and entertaining manual to how I help guys. After all, our divorce rate in this country is around 42/43% for first marriages, another twenty percentage points for second ones, and another ten above that for third ones. I was once a part of those percentages. In my thirties I jumped from one marriage to the other, figuring I could find the right woman to fix me –and that turned out to be the ultimate fantasy. Not to worry, this will give you better alternatives to needing anybody to fix you.